Monday, February 25, 2008

Live departure boards my arse

The 18:30 from Temple Meads to Paddington comes from Weston-super-Mare. If it's on time, it leaves there at about 18:05. My office is 5 minutes from Temple Meads so if I'm getting the 18:30, I'll tend to leave at about 18:20 so that I can take a leisurely stroll to the station and perhaps pick up a copy of Amatuer Ranter from Smith's. Before I leave, I check the "live departure boards" which as you probably know are available from the National Rail website, and in fetching pink livery direct from Third Rate Western's site (which presumably runs slowly on a repainted ZX81 server).

At 18:15, if the train hasn't left Weston yet, there isn't a hope in hell of it getting to Temple Meads by 18:30. So why the hell does the live departure board say "On time"? Surely it's not beyond the wit of man to program it to know that if a train hasn't left it's starting point 10-15 minutes after it was meant to, it ain't going to be "on time" at the next station, even taking into account Third Rate Western's hugely padded timetables.

In fact, the 18:30 ended up pulling into Temple Meads a clear 28 minutes late due to the fun and games at Southall earlier. It didn't leave Weston until 18:40. At which time, the lovely live departure boards were still optimistically predicting that we would be on our way out of Bristol at 18:49. Unlikely, but perhaps it's nice to think the glass is half full when in fact it's got half an inch of warm lager and three fag ends in it.

Fatality at Southall

Probably best to drop my normal sarcastic tone for this one, as no-one likes a fatality (Southall does seem to attract more than its fair share curiously), but this is something that really puzzles me. Take a look at this photo - it's an aerial view of Southall station taken from Google Maps:



That looks to me like 6 tracks. Either side of the station there are 4 tracks. As I understand it, 2 fast lines and 2 slow lines, all the way from Reading to Paddington. Even as far as Swindon, maybe, but I might be wrong about that one. Anyway, I digress.

Why is it that a fatality at Southall causes all of these lines to be closed? Surely some trains can be let through? OK they have to go through slowly, as there's bound to be a lot of Police, Notwork Rail staff and so forth on the track, but is it really necessary to shut them all down totally for several hours, causing chaos for the whole afternoon and into the evening?

An occasion where even I can't blame Third Rate Western for the bedlam.

Friday, February 22, 2008

That stopping train again

It's always a good sign at Temple Meads when a Paddington train that has started at Weston, or further afield, pulls into Bristol at xx:22 when it's due out at xx:30 - even the daft sods who don't realise they can use ALL the doors on the train to get on can't take a full 8 minutes to get on board, faff around with their bags a bit, block the aisles, look for a seat, take their coat off, sit down, stand up and sit down again. So we're on track to leave on time.

Everything's going to plan today, everyone is on board, we pull out on time. Hurrah! But then we stop, just outside Temple Meads. Maybe this unscheduled stop is sponsored by Vauxhall; I've got a great view of several Vectras and a shiny Corsa. Anyway, I don't want a Vauxhall. Here's the train manager with an announcement.

We're behind a stopping train, which has pulled out of Temple Meads at 17:29, just one short minute ahead of us. It's already running late from Cardiff. So why exactly has it been let out ahead of us? We've now got to follow it and wait for it as it stops on the way to Bath. So by the time we get to Bath, despite having left Bristol on time, we're now 13 minutes late. That's a clear 26 minutes to get from Bristol to Bath.

My friends at www.firstgreatwestern.info/coffeeshop (a very interesting forum if you want some facts about how the trains operate direct from some of the poor chaps who have to work for Third Rate Western and endure the wrath of ranting commuters like me) tell me that it's nothing to do with Third Rate Western, it's the signallers who make the decision.

But surely someone in a nice office at Third Rate Western Towers (it's in Swindon, so don't assume it's hugely glamorous) can talk to someone at "Fat Controller Towers" (that's a reference to Thomas the Tank Engine, by the way, not a vicious attack on the girth of the signallers) and say:
If two of our trains are pulling out of Bristol at the same time, please put the FAST one in front of the SLOW one!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Sore feet

Spending 2 days stood on an exhibition stand devoid of punters is pretty miserable I think you'll agree. Still, not to worry, I'll duck out early and catch the 3.30 home from Paddington. I might even have time to microwave a lasagne for the wife, the old romantic that I am.

But no, Third Rate Western conspire against me once again, so instead I'm jammed in the standing-room-only 4.00. Maybe there'll be an announcement in a minute to tell me the buffet is open. Suspect the 200 people stood in the aisles between me and it might not be too pleased if I try to drag a coffee and a cheeseburger of dubious origin past them.

Never mind, at least I can look forward to the commute in the morning which, despite assurances otherwise, is still an Adelante.

Hey, did you notice I didn't slag off any frontline staff in this post? Woohoo!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

There's no legal limit

This is not about drink driving, you understand; I've had another email from Third Rate Western. This one is replying to me sending them a photo of the overcrowding in the mornings, specifically challenging their previous statement that the train now stops at Keynsham because it has "available capacity".

We try and give all our customers safe and comfortable travel, but we don't turn passengers away until there's a danger that the service will become unsafe. There's no set number of passengers for this, just as there is no legal limit to the number of people we can carry on a train. We leave the decision to the professional judgment of the Train Manager and the driver.

Is this effectively saying that until someone legislates against the arguably dangerous practice of jamming us into trains until there's not a single inch of space left, it will be left to the staff on the platform to make a judgement call about safe capacities? How come there's legislation for carriage of cattle, but not people?

Monday, January 28, 2008

Is the writing on the wall?

If I were a betting man, I'd have a fiver on Third Rate Western losing their franchise next time it comes up for renewal. I reckon it would be easy money. Which is pretty much what Third Rate Western are making at the moment, as they don't seem to be investing a penny on services, staff, cleanliness, reliability, safety or anything else for that matter.

I think they know the writing is on the wall and that they are runing things in a "keeping the lights on" manner, aiming to cream out the most profit possible from their remaining tenure. A pretty cynical approach however you look at it, but the evidence does point to this being their attitude.

You can say that reliablity is down to Notwork Rail, strikes are down to the RMT, and make any number of other excuses, but for me, the utterly diabolical state of the ex-Wessex trains (I would strongly advise that if you're travelling from Cardiff to Portsmouth that you don't drink too much coffee before getting on the train because you really don't want to use the khazi) shows that they simply won't spend any time or money maintaining things in an acceptable way. The staff seem to have given up making excuses for the timekeeping, and whilst we're seeing other train companies ordering more trains, Third Rate Western are just wringing every last ounce of life out of their ancient, run-down old sheds.

They know they are out of here; why can't they be removed now and give someone competent a chance of running the show?

Come back, cameraman!

Shame the cameraman from this morning wasn't on the 18:30 Temple Meads to London train tonight as I would have been much more scathing about Third Rate Western than I was this morning when he interviewed me (did I mention I was on the telly?). Delayed by over 40 minutes by the time we got to Chippenham because of an earlier points failure at Bathampton Junction (probably happened when a stupid little stopping train was pulling out in front of hundreds of people on their way down from London).
So, no information at Bristol, until a quiet announcement that the delay was caused by "congestion". CONGESTION?! That has to go into the top 10 list of implausible excuses for late trains really, doesn't it?